The Mute Heart

     Vanessa often went to the library during vacant time and when she felt out of place with her new classmates. She usually prefer to read anything in the lib alone whenever she felt bored.
     Perhaps that very day was not really for her. She thought, she would feel better in the lib again that time but she got wrong when she noticed some group of boys in the other table in front of her, laughing secretly and occasionally staring at her. Vanessa got ashamed. She just can't find any idea of   what's wrong in her that made them somewhat like criticizing her.
     Later, she felt that may be, they find her so ugly and begun to felt uncomfortable so she decided to go out and went to the canteen. She bought something to eat.
     A few moments later, she again saw the boys in the lib who laughed at her. They also bought some foods. Most of the tables in the canteen were already occupied. A table next to her was the only left vacant, so the boys got their seats in there. They saw her but they didn't laughed anymore. As if nothing happened.
     Since they were ten, they didn't able to occupy the table. Some of them shared a seat in the other table and one of the boys asked if he can share a seat with her. She simply nod without looking at him. A couple of time later, she noticed again those boys at the other table laughing with a teasing look. the boy who sat with her turn his head at the back then looked at her.
     Vanessa bowed her head from shame and felt heaviness at her fist. She was almost bursting when suddenly the boy spoke to her. "Miss are you okay?" His voice seems so gentle as she listened to it. "Y-yeah." She turned calm with that soft voice. "You're a freshman I guess!"
      "Y-yes."
       "Don't you have any friends with you?"
       "I don't have close friends yet."
       "Ahh ........ I see,........ that's why you're alone."
       She just nodded and smiled. She assumed opening her notes so she would have reason not to look at him and continued zipping her soft drink.
       "I can be your friend from now on! By the way what's your name?"
       She surprisingly thrown him a look. Now she could clearly saw him. "Oh my, he's cute and handsome", she uttered in her mind but she tried to scold her self from admiring, remembering the insult and embarrassment she felt from his co-leagues.    
       "Vanessa", she answered in a shy voice.
        "Come on don't be shy with me.......  I'm Gian by the way, so friends?"
        "Sure!" she smiled and they shaken hands.
        A loud teasing filled the canteen from Gian's friend at the other table. They're looking at them. She blushed very much from shyness. She took her hand out from Gian's and picked up her things as fast as she could and run out . Gian hurriedly followed her.

         "Hey Van w-what's wrong?"
         "Nothing....just leave me alone!" She continued running. Gian pulled her hand when he got near to her.
         "Vanessa! Stop!.......... what's the matter with you?"
         She can't hold on from crying. "You! It's you! Why you make friend of me?! You're making fun with your friends to me?! Well, fine!.......You win, I lost! Thank you for your trick dude!Now leave me alone!
         Gian got puzzled. "What are u talking about? We're not having fun with you. Why do you think that way?"
         "Since when I'm in the library, I saw you guys already laughing at me. You're really having fun with me! I hate you!" She tried to pull back her hand but Gian hold it much tighter.
         "Aaahh..that's it! You were there then, and you thought it's you were laughing at. Then you're wrong lady. Yes were laughing at someone but  not to you. It's to the boy sleeping in the corner next to you with a flowing saliva on his table.
         "Yeah that's true!" interrupted Gian's friends. "In fact, we had taken him a picture in my cellphone, you can have a look for you to see." said one.
          At last the conflict got settled then. From that day on, they've became friends in the campus but later on, Vanessa felt something different for Gian as she noticed the special treatment he showed to her but she never showed off her feelings to him because she don't like to appear flirty. In her mind she's just hallucinating and that she must stop it. Sometimes she made distanced and avoid going together with Gian so as not to grow her feelings and escaped from teased, but Gian really liked to stick with her and didn't care and matter what others would said about them but for Vanessa it did matter. She didn't really like to be teased however it opposed with Gian's. He showed liking it- be teased.
          Now came a time, a sudden news. Gian would be going away. He will be continuing his studies in Manila because it will be his uncle already that would be sending him to school and he want Gian to be with him there in Manila.
          Vanessa got so sad. She didn't like Gian to leave for they had build deep friendship already and she can't imagine to be separated from Gian in just a sudden.
          The day before Gian would finally left, the friends spent the moment bonding together. It was Saturday then, and they met in a vacant lot , meters away from Gian's house. They did lots of fun as if it would never end, but they couldn't really stopped the time from running and so it really ended. It was already late six in the evening and they needed to go home. They could do nothing than to say good bye to Gian. Vanessa handed Gian a cute stuff that she personally made."For you.......hope you could not forget me...... farewell to you my friend...."she said in a trying hard smile. Gian took it with a lonely face.
           Others started walking home and the two of them were left. Gian insisted Vanessa to go with her in the highway 'till she could ride a jeep. As to spent the limited time left to be together, Vanessa made it a pleasure. 
          Along the way, Gian stopped and held  Vanessa in the hand. "...I will miss you Van." It hurt her a lot that she failed to stop her tears from flowing down. Gian noticed it. "Why?" he asked. "No...no.. nothing." She quickly wiped it with her fingers. "Come on tell me," Gian insisted.
          "I just.... I just realize .... you're so unfair!"  
          "Huh?" Gian got puzzled."why?" 
          "Because....... I will miss you more than you will miss me." She utter it in a kidding way.
         They both laughed at it. Gian hugged her for that. Vanessa got surprised. It's her first hug from a friend, from a special friend. Her heart beated faster. She came to think if Gian felt it. "May be not," in her own.
          "I'm sorry I can't leave anything for you as my remembrance."
          "Of course you have..... in fact they're so many "
          "Really? w-what was that......I didn't remember any."
          "The moments you'd shared with me. Aren't those memorable thing for you?.......thanks a lot for that"
          "Van........ I would say thank you more....thank you more for every thing. I will miss you so much."
          Gian signaled the approaching taxi then faced her . This time, Gian looked different.
          " Vanessa...... promised that we'll be seeing again." There's a tear forming in his eyes."because ........ because......... I LOVE YOU...."
           After revealing it to Vanessa, he immediately opened the door of the taxi that was parking already for a couple of minutes then payed the driver and told the destination, let Vanessa got inside then hurriedly shut the door.The taxi started running away from Gian. Vanessa remained speechless and immobile. She heard nothing other than the last word that Gian had said. She felt the world had stopped turning in its axis. She wanted to stop the taxi but she just can't utter any words anymore. In her own, she wished she had able to reply Gian that she love him too.
           Now they're already far from each other and she didn't know if she could still have the chance to express the feelings that her mute heart had kept for a long time since they had been together with her friend -she once and already learned to love.